here’s to the nights where we lay in bed, feelings conflicted.
here’s to the nights we tell ourselves over again we should not overreact.
here’s to all the nights we feel like crying, just because.
do you ever feel this way?
when all you really wished for was a little more care, a little more devotion, a little more love, a bit more concern, a little more worth their time.
I always told myself, if the person does not see the worth in you, they don’t matter. but we can’t help the feelings can we?
the thing is, sometimes even if they see your worth, how valuable a person you are to them (or maybe all of this was a misconception and an assumption that was never true), they’d always push you aside eventually. casually shoving you aside for someone new.
you’d tell yourself it’s temporary, they’ll come back – they do, and then they go again –
you’d tell yourself you have to understand their situation, to be empathetic.
you’d tell yourself you shouldn’t think so selfishly, that people have other’s in their lives, not just you.
you’d tell yourself you’re just overthinking, overreacting, that your mind should shut up. only it never does.
you’d feel like shit all of a sudden, and you can’t really help it either.
you’d suddenly sing your favourite songs and be overwhelmed with such emotions you tear, yet again, not knowing why.
but it was a good cry.
in a moment you want to just flare and throw a fit, but that’s not you is it?
you were always the understanding one, weren’t you?
you’d never throw a fit, you’d always understand, you’d always be empathetic.
YOU will always be there no matter what, no matter whether you’ve been hurt or not, you’re always be there.
but because you’d be all these things, YOU’D be the lonely one, the one always first on the list to be able to be given up for another, the one to be second to others.
then again, it’s your fault too ain’t it? nobody made you who you are, you chose to be there didn’t you? you chose to be there time and again.
you chose to understand, to empathise, DIDN’T YOU?
but in the end, it’d be people like us that hurt, not you, you, or you.