“The more you overthink the less you will understand.” – Habeeb Akande
It’s okay to think, because a friend once told me it is better to think than not at all.
However, sometimes some of us take it a step too far.
How terrible a feeling it is, to constantly overthinking, and then to doubt yourself.
Surely it is normal, but to what extend do the boundaries of normal go?
Here I am, seated at my desk trying to find the words to what I meant to tell today.
I am sure many others feel the same:
That sometimes we feel like nobody wants us
Or we misjudged an expression and we think we’ve done something wrong
Or perhaps we think that people judge us in ways we don’t wish to portray
Or that we are the ones at fault, and not the people we complain about.
Some part of us knows it’s just silly voices in our minds overthinking and doubting too much, and that is the worse part. We know it, but we can’t shake it off.
These are the things I am sure many of you already know, but I think many times we need a reminder that we are not alone. Because nothing feels worse than telling a friend about it, but not having the level of understanding we expect to receive. That is when the feelings sink deeper in. That brings a whole new viewpoint of expectations and understanding – but that’s a whole new topic for another time.
Tips when you overthink:
- Confide in a friend who you trust to understand you.
- Confide to blogs !
- Distract yourself – Youtube, movies, music, writing, exercise
- I find exercise, movies and youtube especially faster when taking your mind off silly thoughts.
- Fix things – 2 ways
- Now what I mean is, if you really, truly feel like someone is mad at you, or something is really bothering you so much, talk to that person about it, it might just surprise you how much you have overanalysed a situation. But sometimes, perhaps to save us a little embarrassment…
- Wait it out – If you can, wait till the next time you see that person, and then again you might just be pleasantly surprised to know that nothing’s wrong.
It is never easy to reassure yourself and so I hope that as posts like this may help you. Let you guide yourself into not overthinking by first, taking out silly topics you tend to overthink. These are things such as:
- Whether or not this person really likes you or wants to hang out with you.
- Did I do something wrong so they don’t ask me out for dinner anymore, when CLEARLY you have not done anything.
- Does my best friend find me annoying for always calling? (She is your best friend, hellooooo?)
- Is my friend mad at me because I had to cancel?
There are certainly more, but just to name a few.
If you really have to, think of topics that can help you grow, topics that can help you figure out yourself better! Maybe it can even direct you to realising what better time you can spend instead, to figure out the more important things in life. BUT if you KNOW they can lead to further overthinking consequences, the first step to helping yourself is by choosing NOT look at them at all. Learning to help yourself is a first step!
Perhaps a reassuring note is what my friend said, “it is better to think than not at all.” Of course to not overthink is best, but I do not wish to see anyone taking it out of context and not think ahead. What I mean by this is essentially being able to think ahead of a situation, like a contingency plan, to be prepared. Some thinking can do us good, but slowly remove the craziest, pointless things you think off, and you find yourself more held together.
So this is my purpose today, to tell readers that sometimes we don’t have to feel alone. That blogs are out there trying to connect and tell you that we may not be physically there, but we are there. That there are people like me who can overthink to crazy extents but yet, I am still okay. It’s all going to be okay, just breathe.
To some this post might seem a little cringe, but for some it’s another reassurance that can give their mind some peace for the rest of their day.
don’t forget to always do something insane to stay sane, whilst being kind and grateful.